The most important choice in life is not to choose what kind of work to do, nor to choose which company to invest in, but to choose who to marry.
The first time I heard this statement came from Bill Gates and Buffett. Of course, the two of them are good friends and and the possibility of mutual influence cannot be ruled out，but I believe this is a common choice for all wise men. They all believe that the most important thing in life is not which company to invest in, but who to marry.
To further explain his point of view, Buffett told his own story. He said he was dating the most beautiful girl in the state when she was young, but in the end he did not choose to be with her. He said: This girl has been divorced three times. If she is with me, I don’t know what the result will be.
No matter who you are, where you are, what kind of work you are doing, famous or ordinary, the eternal topic for individuals is life itself, the ones who accompany you the longest in this life are neither your parents, nor your children, nor Not your colleagues, but your partner. Therefore, from a time perspective, the choice of a partner is the most important choice in life.
From another perspective, if we perform well in other aspects of life, such as education, career, investment, and financial management, etc., we have made the right choices and achieved proud results, but if we choose the wrong partner, This failed relationship would render all of the above options moot.
For example, if a person is very successful in his career, and his career achievements far exceed those of his peers, but he is not wise enough in his choice of marriage, then a fire in his backyard is enough to destroy everything he has worked hard for many years. There are also entrepreneurs, whose wife divorces on the eve of the company’s listing, which is enough to ruin a successful IPO, so that all investors must investigate the marital status of the founder when deciding whether to invest in a company afterwards.
Therefore, no matter how good a person is in other areas, if he is always foolish in the choice of feelings and marriage, we think he is lacking in great wisdom in life—because he lacks in the most important things in life. Judgment, not knowing what he wants in life, this may reflect that he may not be good at long-term thinking.
When you consider a lifelong partner, you may wish to think about a question: If there is one most important factor that makes you both have the courage to choose to be together, what is this factor?
There is an unexpected answer: to break up well, to make each other better, not to destroy each other.
People often say: Human nature cannot stand the test. But think about it the other way around: only what can stand the test is human nature. What is the biggest test between a couple? It is to see how they will deal with the breakup. It’s a love affair in the heart, but they are still willing to break up peacefully, or they still want to hurt each other, or even destroy each other.
Of course, many people will ask:
First, before I choose to be with someone, how can I see each other’s state when facing (if) breaking up?
Second, I am choosing a life partner. Why should I think about such an unlucky topic: breaking up?
My answer is: First of all, you can observe this person from various angles, including how they usually treats friends, differences, contradictions, and “injustice”. It even includes how did they deal with the previous relationship, how did they break up with Ex? If a person is full of complaints or even resentment towards Ex, then don’t expect Ta to treat the “breakup” peacefully in the future.
Secondly, there is an analogy as to why it is necessary to judge how a person will face a “breakup” before deciding to fall in love or even be together: that is, if we understand how we will face death in our daily life, it will completely change our life. Life. Although it is difficult for us to face the topic of “death” and choose to avoid it in our daily life, once we have the courage to face the topic of death and have a little breakthrough cognition here, our life will be greatly improved. For a different self. This point was brilliantly elaborated by Jobs in his most famous speech during his lifetime: “Three Stories of My Life”. He said that the best teacher in life is “death”. After he was diagnosed with cancer for the first time, he really understood the “meaning of death”. He said:
“Remember that I am going to die” is the most important mantra I have encountered in my life, and it helped me make important choices in my life.
By analogy, if lovers can think about how they will break up before deciding to be together. If both can accept each other’s attitude towards breaking up, then the relationship between the two of them will be much stronger. When we think about breaking up and talking about breaking up, we don’t plan to break up one day in the future, but pass the limit test of “breakup” to judge a person’s bottom line in dealing with feelings.
If this test can be passed, if it is determined that everyone can treat each other with sincerity and achieve mutual success when they may face a breakup in the future, then I think this couple has the most important foundation for a happy life together. When you know that you will not choose to hurt each other in the most difficult time, but choose to trust each other, then you will work together to overcome many difficulties in life.